your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i've created a new STD.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
