I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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