It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
