Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
