I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
