Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
