Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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