i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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