it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize