Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
