Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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