her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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