The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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