covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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