So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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