I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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