CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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