This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
And then my night got REAL pukey
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
