I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
