for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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