ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
