mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
