This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
