Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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