We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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