Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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