from now on my penis is your penis
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
zippers are such a cool invention
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
