Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
