You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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