Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
