Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
