ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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