You made me cry and you don't even care
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
