Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he thought i was a dude.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
