You smell like a Billy Joel song
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
