i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
