i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
