we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
