I faked an abortion last night.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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