I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
