just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
there is glitter all over my balls
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