nut hugger
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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