after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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