JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
