drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
