I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you inspire me to be a worse person
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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