wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
organizing the empties. That sober.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
