Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize