How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
