The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
